You are a pussy.

Well, maybe not you specifically, but yeah, probably.

I was recently blogging about the fuckwits that leave their engine running while idling and it occurred to me; this isn't simply a consequence of being a car driver, but a consequence of growing up and living in the 21st century; everyone is a pussy.

I mean this in the old-school sense of the word, in that you are weak, inferior, and ready to be dominated by a stronger will. At least, until you drive off and repeat your stupidity elsewhere.

When I was a kid, life was pretty fucking awesome. Sure, my parents were crap, but the world allowed for some lee-way. Okay, Lots of lee-way. And that enabled kids to explore life and find their place.

No more. Modern life doesn't allow room for that shit. And perhaps that's why drivers in particular, are so fucking bat-shit mental. Normal people are affected too; get behind a wheel; BOOM! You turn bat-shit crazy. It's all over the city.

Regardless; they are but a small portion of the stupid that stalks our planet. And here's the thing; unlike the Seventies; if you challenge someone about the stupid shit they are doing; they will immediately back down. No resistance. No challenge, other than verbal. Meh!

This is a form of "Dispell magic", as dungeon-goers might call it. Like folk have decided on a "non-violent" path, regardless of their own violence towards our planet.

This saddens me. If you had actually stood up to the challenge (and okay, lost, of course, cuz it's me, and your SUV obviously has no dirt on it, being a mere showpiece) at least you would have gotten some tonight, instead of her thinking, "who was that guy?", while you shuffle off to bed. (pussy)

It's a defence mechanism; designed to disarm, prevent further escalation, I guess. I say, fuck escalation; simply smack them in the mouth.

OMG! He's condoning violence!

Well, yes and no. I absolutely agree. - there's no place for violence in an enlightened society. I 100% agree on that. Zero tolerance.

However, we don't yet have an enlightened society, and in the meantime people are shit.

And part of the reason why people are so shit is that they aren't challenged on their shitiness. And so it continues unabated.

I can only be in so many places at once. Please feel free to jump in and do something; anything; at any time.


Switch off your fucking engine!

Yes, that freak banging on your window, is me.

Switch off your engine. Simple as that.

Not only is it killing our planet and in the meantime our children, but (for aforementioned reasons) it's pissing me off, and no matter where you are, I will tap and then bang on your window and ask you, rather charmingly; at first; to switch it off.

If you refuse, the charm ends abruptly. I have no patience for belligerent half-wits.

In other words, if you do not switch it off, I will bang your window harder, perhaps to the point of smashing (as I am a strong fucker) until you do.

And if you feel your child-killing position is on some way defensible and the need to leave the comfort of your vehicle to challenge me on this, be sure, I will happily fight you right there on the street.

Perhaps it is this certainty, this assurance that what I am doing is absolutely right, that ensures that NO ONE (at least not yet) has ever seriously challenged my position. (those wimps who crumble when I turn to face them do not count; pussies)

I am right. Simple as that.

And if you are sitting in a stationary vehicle with your engine running, you are wrong. How did you get to be so stupid?

And if it's not me banging on your window asking you politely to switch off your engine, it will soon be someone else, and maybe not so politely.

You fuckwit*.


* Allow me to reiterate; anyone sitting in a stationary vehicle with the engine running is a fuckwit. Knock on their vehicle twice - tap - tap - to let them know how much of a fuckwit they are - once for the kids, another time for the planet - tap -tap. I'll wager they still** don't get it.

** Unless you are a Mercedes or BMW driver; in which case you are of course allowed to park on corners, double-yellow lines or wherever, as well as leave your engine running at any time***.

*** unless I'm around, in which case your car is getting kicked.

The advantage of Human Emotion

For a short while, until AI are able to realistically simulate this, you have a window of opportunity..

People react to human emotions, being themselves human. For example, using the word "fuck" in an interaction is almost guaranteed to take you to the next level of communication; possibly with an actual human. Or else; with lesser AI; kill the chat immediately.

Using the word "human" might get you to a human; as in "I need to speak to a human". But not all AI. Only the thoughtfully-implemented AI, as in implemented by a human.

You see where I am going right now, yeah?

AI isn't ready. Not even nearly. I've spent reasonably-paid months training these fuckers and I can assure you, they are as dumb as a brick.

To any company shutting off human interaction in favour of AI-only customer service, know one thing; you have lost at least one customer. Me*.


* and I spend most of my money online, so... your loss.

Evri time, a disaster..

I had a soft spot for "Hermes", as I wrote my first book on a vintage Hermes typewriter.

I have no such love for "Evri", and so will tell it like it is..

Don't fucking do it.

My records tell me that i have had 23 packages delivered by "Evri" in the last 12 months. Of those packages, TWO were delivered to my door.

The rest were either dumped in an unsafe place or else not delivered at all (with the "proof" being some crazy not-here GPS location instead of a photo).

So now when I'm buying something, I look at their delivery options and if it's Evri, I just move on.

I advise you to do the same. There's no point wasting hours of your time chasing a five buck package.

Let this shitty company die, for "Evri"one's sake.


Not dope!

So, straight into the top-ten of stupid ideas for the 21st Century so far...

The Doped Olympics

Seems there is a continual stream of "Athletes" canned from regular sports for augmenting their basic human physicality not with effort and nutrition and sheer will1, but with chemicals.

That's good. I'm glad some "body" is on top of that because you need to draw the line somewhere and "unaugmented" human" sounds fair enough to me. Begone dope fiends! Real humans only allowed.

So, some bright spark says, "But where do they go?".

Until now, where they belong; in rehab. But maybe this is premature, says he (Aaron D'Souza). Perhaps there is coin in them there untangling DNA strands while the bearer still stands, and so, why not...

"The Enhanced Games"

It doesn't take a science fiction writer to see where this is going; the devastation that lies in the wake of such a simple notion; An Olympics for enhanced athletes; which is a polite way of saying, less than spectacular individuals who couldn't make the grade and instead pumped themselves full of drugs.

Or just skip the hopes, dreams and then inevitable shame and rejection of the major leagues and start pumping yourself full of untested chemicals right now and head straight for the THE ENHANCED GAMES. Hop aboard! All are welcome, so long as your muscles stick out in interestingly televisual ways.

It's absolutely no more stupid than 93.6%2 of the ideas I see proposed these days. And here's another first: I'd PAY to see that! Just Kidding. I'll torrent that shit. Quids-in I couldn't handle more than two or three minutes, anyway.

Yup, it's a gamble; "enhancing" yourself by artificial means3. From compromising your most basic health functions to the interference of those pesky ever-advancing (okay, catching-up, maybe tomorrow) sport's regulatory bodies. Then the unravelling and painful death, BUT IN THE MEANTIME, give paying customers a spectacle as your veins, muscles, tendons and will go "pop" on Live TV.

Okay, that's rare. But impotence, rage, oh fuck Google it, not worth it. Man has NO CLUE (okay, maybe 0.5% of a clue, so far) how to integrate chemistry into the whole human being. Be a guinea pig if you like, but I'd gently remind you that there are very few "man made" substances that have even near the efficacy of well-known natural substances; at least, well-known to some.

This is the 21st century and information that took me months of letters and nudges and expensive phone calls as a kid is now a click away. You have no fucking excuse!

Nature has given you everything you need to add KILOS of muscle mass per month; speed and strength gain of double figures in the same time-frame. Why would you need to disable yourself in order to achieve less?

Gotta love them backward logical millennials!


* And if your natural testosterone happens to be WAY HIGH, then FUCK ALL THEM! Good for you! You dive into the history books and let all the second-placers tell their cronies, "If it wasn't for Caster I would have won it". Tough! Go find your own niche.

You go, girl! The surrounding Math will compensate for your greatness.

1I've seen over half a century of this ****, come test me!

2 88.2% of all statistics are complete shite. Yes, I'm paraphrasing Vic Reeves.

3 And utterly unnecessary for someone who can be bothered to investigate what nature already provides. You want the latest chemicals or do you want actual gains?

Move away from the pharmacy shelf, friend. The truth is elsewhere. And without the pain.

Again with the perfectly cast Spock

A quickie*..

<hidden text>Threads is Evil. Don't sign up.</hidden text>

As regular readers will know, I aim to squeeze an episode of TV in every night; living in the Golden Age of Television, and all; but often fail. I am bang up to date with Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, though.

And it's mainly because of the casting. Also the writing and directing and cinematography and audio and OH FUCK ME! EVERYONE INVOLVED!!!

I'm a connoisseur of visual media. I could rewrite any TV show better. Test me. But I definitely couldn't cast a show as well as this. I don't have those kinds of resources, nor the eye it must take to do casting at this level.

This casting is next-level. I've not seen most of the actors involved (casting secret No. 1, fo sho). They all fit perfectly. So the story just rolls right in without obstruction. So I'm loving it. Episodes rarely sit in my downloads folder for more than a couple of days.

FOR KIDS: If; when you want to grow up; you want to get into casting (and don't let anyone tell you that this isn't an important, no, crucial career - few have the gift) speak to whomever cast this show, and get a leg-up).

And view the source!


*micro-blog. See:

Following tail lights over a cliff in the fog..

The modern review methodology is fatally flawed when it comes to natural products, especially food. The TEN BEST whatever's are simply not; guaranteed; as you forgot to factor in at least two important things..

Time. Is that the time? I'll be brief.

An example..

Many years ago I noticed a 6-pack (beer, bottles, not cans) at a very decent price, during my fortnightly pilgrimage to the supermarket.

I got them home, quick-chill (that's a technical term for wrapping a thick paper towel (aka. a square of kitchen roll which; you had better believe; is designed to be that exact size, depending on the designer's preferred beer) around a liquid container, wetting it under the cold tap*, draining and sticking in the freezer for 5-10m, as opposed to the regular chill (30m+ in the freezer) or slow chill (the fridge)), and BOOM!

Wow! What a fantastically nuanced lager. Just the right amount of hops, beautifully crisp on the palette yet deep in flavour. I had to look at my receipt three times.

Couple weeks later I decided it would be money well spent to do that again. I was so very wrong. It was like piss. Well, I'm exaggerating, but compared to what my mouth had been expecting.. A different experience altogether. Which got me thinking, how variable is it? And so I blame my slow decent into alcoholism oN SCIENCE!

Just kidding. It's not Perlenbacher's fault.

But over the course of many years I learned that natural products tend to drift, quality-wise. "quality", is also subjective. My eww, is another's w00!

In short, you can't tell from one taste/batch/bag/whatever. And even less so from someone else's taste.

If you only tried one Brazil nut, and it was off, you may conclude that you don't like Brazil nuts, which would be a mistake. Especially if you are male**.

So, ignore any food review or opinion that isn't based on at least a year's worth of research and tasting. It's simply too small a sample.

Bon Appetite!


* Or any cold water. Dipping in a bucket, pond, lake, stream, burn, waterfall; all good. Then shake off and straight in the freezer. Similar principle to the desert fridge (used by prison inmates to keep milk cold in the summer - wrapping toilet roll around the bottle and placing that in a tray of water next to the window - any breeze will do), except turned down 25 degrees, thanks to electricity.

**All adult males should eat a half dozen of these every day.

In praise of Smok

I tried to quit smoking for years*. I tried "everything". Nope.

Then sub-ohm vapes came along, and they changed everything.

Finally I found something that actually worked, by which I mean delivered a decent hit of nicotine. By hit I mean, equivalent to that of a cigarette.

The pandemic came along; respiratory related; and I now had a reason to quit, aside from the increasing breathlessness.

And boom! Success! I waited three years to say that in case it wasn't, like previous attempts.

In fact, even better than success as I'm able to enjoy the occasional (in the true sense of the word) spliff and it bothers me not at all. For nicotine, I prefer my vape.

My Vape awesome. Not a disposable vape. They are evil and should be banned in every place on earth, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. That they even exist.. It blows my mind. Those are FINITE resources, being thrown onto the street, in their billions. Humans are so stupid!

So, my vape. Like any purchase I researched the fuck out of it. I spent a long time lurking on forums and reading reviews and all the rest. Then I did the Math.

On any forum, I discovered that most brands produced X number of posts discussing "issues". I then discovered that Smok vapes produced around three to four times this number of posts.

Then I looked at the sales figures and calculated that while the most fashionably hip boutique brands had around a 2% failure rate, Smok, by sheer dint of volume sales, had something like a 0.001% failure rate.

So I bought a Smok. An Alien 220W, and after a few hit-or-miss hits I settled on Q8 coils. I get through around 5-7.5ml per day of 1.6%** liquid (a simple mix of cheap 888 menthol-chill and liquorice which I have been enjoying for years now).

I run it at 47 Watts and my coils last a long time.

I'm here right now blogging about this because I realise that MY COILS LAST A REALLY LONG TIME.

I remember when initially researching the sub-ohm vape scene reading that coils were a disposable thing. Fair enough. Folk were posting about how coils were only lasting a few days or even hours.


I'm aiming to provide all possible data here so that you can replicate MY numbers, instead. Hours?! Days? Weeks?! Nah!

I usually suck for 3-4 seconds. 5-7.5ml/day. I do tend to suck after I already disengaged the power. I don't bother to refill until I taste the nasty burn taste.

My coils last for months.

In fact, it's because they last so long that I'm here now blogging. I was just thinking, and not for the first time, "this coil has been running for ages!".

Sure, they always last months; the cotton starts to brown some and when you switch batteries the Ohm reading starts to drift up; gently at first, but then UP UP it goes and it's time to switch. No problem, I bought a pack of five new coils...


And that's why I'm here. EIGHTEEN MONTHS! I confirmed with eBay. That's how long I've been using this one coil. Pretty good. And it's not done yet!

So that's the first reason I'm here praising Smok.

The second is that about a year into my switch-over to vapeland, I realised that I needed a lighter unit for portable use. One 18650 battery instead of two, as I'm only using 47W anyway.

I bought a really nice vape which by happy coincidence uses the exact same fitting of coils as my Smok. And here's the thing..

It's not the same.

Somehow the power deliver characteristics of the portable unit are different (and unlike the Smok, not configurable). All sorts of possibilities come to mind. Whatever; for what I'm doing with my vape, nothing beats my Smok. It tastes and feels better and delivers quicker, regardless of Wattage settings. So whatever research Smok did to arrive at their figures, it works.

The Alien has been dropped multiple times (on concrete and metal, as well as softer surfaces), had the hinge bashed completely out of shape (I use Gaffer tape to keep the battery compartment shut), yet soldiers on. Marvellously.

As Smok have probably produced a million new models since then (and completely abandoned all previous models - such is the Chinese Marketing Way) I've no idea if I will ever be able to replace it, and my running search on eBay has produced no hits in years. Och well.

Aside from cosmetic issues, my Smok Alien 220W continues to work fantastically. Also, me and my home smell much nicer.

So, thank you Smok.


ps. If you know anyone selling a used Smok Alien 220W, in any condition, PLEASE get in touch!

* Not continually, of course. Something would happen, a milestone that I was no longer able to achieve and I would think, "I really should stop smoking", and then try that. Nope.

A child of the 70s, you see. When I was a kid, everyone smoked. I had my first taste at Five years old. I think they were trying to put me off, as I was so obviously trying to suck in those plumes. It didn't work. I asked for more.

** Actually now a mix of 1.6 and 1.1, then it will be 1.1 + 1.1, and so on, as I gently wean myself off nicotine.

Titan(ic) fail

As James Cameron pointed out, there are wonderful parallels between the original Titanic disaster and the Titan's epic failure.

Basically, the captain ignored all the warnings; and there were many. In this case, the captain also happens to be the CEO of the company that mindfully put five innocent souls at risk*.

I'm all for innovation, but ignoring basic material science isn't innovation; it's stupid. And charging £250,000-a-pop to fund your stupid, is criminal.

So, just as well he died, if you think about it. The perfect scapegoat lies dead, along with four innocent fools, at 4000 Metres down. Or at least parts of him.

If he wasn't down there, the rest of his life would have been a living hell. Hell, even I, who have zero skin in the game, would have been emailing this fucker to ask why he so blatantly ignored every single expert in the field.

You know what people, in some fields we simply don't need big innovation. Some we do, sure, battery tech, carbon capture, so many others. But when it comes to diving 4000 metres down, we need only one single thing (aside from a decently-sized window), and that is SAFETY. FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Innovate all you like on your own, private time.

Which brings me to my main question:

How is it possible, or legal, to take an "experimental" craft down ANY metres? Let alone with PAYING passengers! "International Waters" is getting pretty thin as an excuse for this sort of obviously stupid malarky.

Don't we have an international waters body of some kind, to legislate here?

And for what? Money? pfff...
I have no more words.


Would you pay $250,000 to travel on a craft guided by a 40-buck Logitech games controller? No, of course not. Logitech gear isn't bad, per se, but even Logitech definitely wouldn't certify their gear for life-and-death, mission-critical off-world adventures, which is essentially what this stuff is.

Loads of military units around the world have copied the physical structure of games controllers for their own uses, and that's all good - a shit-load of time and effort and research goes into games controllers and if you have the need, do it! - but they then build their own units, to exacting specifications and standards, with military-grade components (like my tech). They didn't just go to Wallmart and grab a joystick off the shelf. Ocean Gate did exactly that. And so much more of the same.

If that wasn't a red flag for you, then sorry, you are stupid too, and deserve everything coming your way.

And to everyone wailing and moaning to the families of "the bereaved", Wise up! No fucking way would I take my kids on that dive because I have no wish to kill my children, which is what even the most meager of investigations would have led you to conclude you were doing. Also I couldn't afford it.

Retrospect is wonderful, aye, but sir, you are still a fuckwit and 100% responsible for the death of your own son. Oh wait. Doh! You're dead too. Evidently, desire can be a powerful motivator. Cuts right through all reason and logic, often tragically. I too desire to give my children wonderful experiences, even ones I desire more for myself. But not blindly.

It's like this; last time I bought a tablet for my youngest, I spent over 20 hours researching options. Be sure, if I was instead planning to take him 4000 metres down into the ocean's depths, I would have spent at least that weighing up the options. And I would have quickly concluded that not only was it a waste of money, but a potentially fatal waste of money.

So I conclude you are a fuckwit sir and deserve no less than a "Catastrophic implosion" at 4000M down. As for your son, I cannot say. I guess you used parental pressure to get him down there. Nothing like the pressure you subsequently experienced, eh!

Too soon? pfff. Give it a minute and there will be book deals and Hollywood treatments. What a cracking story, eh!

It's actually a pretty legendary way to die, too, and I find myself terribly jealous. So, way to go folks!

Can I also point out that the time it takes for an entire "catastrophic implosion" at 4000M (around 1 millisecond) is way less that the time it takes for the brain to consciously process data (more than 100 times, in fact). No one "suffered", per se, though there may well have been a few preceding moments of overwhelming panic. Precursor events are a given.

Note to self: If you ever design a submersible; install a pressure-proof flight-recorder.

*** But wait a minute, Paul-Henri Nargeolet was on-board. He's definitely not stupid. That Stockton Rush must have been one persuasive sonofabitch.

Damn! I take back everything I said about individual stupidity.

We're clearly dealing with built-in human stupidity, that which is so easily manipulated by others. Also, what sort of name is "Stockton"? ffs!

Normally names are a no-no for me, when it comes to taking the piss, but clearly his parents had uncanny foresight, or something. Do the entomology on the entire name. Beautiful!

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