Hire Me..
I am so fucking bored with commercial work. You know what, don't bother. Unless, of course, you have something genuinely interesting to offer. If you have read all the text here and know what I'm about, by all means, get in touch. Otherwise, fuck off. I don't need your carbon footprint in my life. Basically, unless your company is openly and verifiably carbon neutral, or better yet, carbon-negative (Yeah, I know, I should be using a Capital Letter), then don't even bother to get in touch. a. I don't need your money and b. My reply will mess up your day, I guarantee. If you still think you can contact me without being told to fuck off, there's a mail link at the foot of every page. Or click here.Worldwide...
Some of the services I can provide..Consulting..
Every day, thousands, often tens of thousands of people come to corz.org to learn about Web Server Setup, Web Site Coding and Design. I offer this same practical, thorough, no-nonsense approach to consultation and training services for you, your business, anyone looking to make an impact on or off the web..
I can help you with every single aspect of your venture, from setup, through Design and Web Coding, Search Engine Optimization, Everything. In short, I can help you make your site worthy of being at the top of Google, and put it there. Sound good? Get in touch!
Words
Thousands of comments and inwards links, as well as regular praise tell me my .htaccess articles are regarded by many as the most useful and revealing, even inspiring texts on the arcane mysteries of Apache web server control, bringing the power of Apache configuration to the masses, laying its secrets bare.
Words as tools, is what I do. I make complex subjects simple, accesible. I can do words for you, too - company slogans, technical manuals, reports, letters, ad copy, glittering SEO-aware site text, ghost-writing, you name it. I have the words for you. Mail me.
Software Design
Used by schools and universities, individuals and governments, checksum is widely regarded as a best-of-class hashing tool. I write tools, as need arises. Do you need software? I might be able to help.
Looking for a branded version of one of my Apps? Or maybe something entirely different? Get in touch!
Images
From company logos to entire websites, I have years of design experience creating catchy images. I can work in traditional photographic or digital media depending on your requirements. Need a stunning image for the front of your brochure? Get in touch!
And more..
Much much more. If you've read my blog, you know what I get up to, so get in touch!
In the Aberdeen Area...
If you live in or around Aberdeen, Scotland, see here.
For all those other "Tech Queries"...
Other tech-mails will be redirected to this page.Here's how things used to work..
People would mail me with some tech issue. I read this mail, usually more than once (because regardless of how many times I send folk to this link, most people's questions really only make complete sense to themselves), and then I view the site they linked to, and possibly its source, or study the attachment(s) they sent, and after all this, sit down and write a thoughtful, well-considered response, outlining exactly how the issue can be tackled, along with potential problems and their possible solutions, right there..
And all without being paid a dime! Even a few such mails can seriously eat up my days. No more! I have a family now!
If you think my unique skill-set and consulting expertise could be of service to you, and this is very likely (no one has hit me with something I couldn't fix); then make a small, non-refundable deposit of £5 to my PayPal account and send me a detailed question by email. That's the deal. I will give a full reply, usually returning the solution there and then. Job done. If you are serious, then so am I.
If further work is required, I will outline these tasks, and detail any information and/or documents required to complete them; and if we go ahead, your £5 deposit is deducted from my fee. Simple as that. If you wish me to consult on some larger issue, by all means, get in touch.
Wherever you are, whatever you need, I can probably help.