the contact page

subscribe to odd mailings..

Of course I won't sell or distribute your email address, feel free to give me your personal one, most do. I don't mail every day, not even every month, but hey! it's me! whatever it is, you know it'll be worth a scan, not tossed-off like those penis-enlargement ads often are. I can let you know about major updates, probably other stuff.

This doesn't actually exist yet, but when it does, it'll be cool! guaranteed!

Subscribing to my blog shows character, give to any news aggregator, you'll get my headlines as and when, along with a choice of maybe three zillion other feeds out there.

"I remember before news aggregators" we'll tell our grandchildren, and they'll say "NO WAY!!", and we'll say "WAY!" and they'll say "NO WAY!!" again, except louder, because it's a game for them now, and they'll probably teach it to their grandchildren as "the days before news aggregators game" and they'll belly-laugh at the nonesense of it, and you will say "no, it's true, folk would click away all day loading Whole Pages of stuff!", and that evolves into the "whole pages of stuff" game, and, you get the idea. email address, and with feeling..

If you want to unsubscribe from the list, go here.

Send an email..

A same-day reply isn't guaranteed, though I do try and answer all my mail, at least the one's that don't promise to improve the size of my "manhood".

Using words like "viagra" will find your email instantly black-listed, in which case I may not see it for weeks, if at all. Also note;, and similar email addresses can delay reception, and it could be a while before I see it. Currently hotmail refuses to speak to my mail server at all. You have been warned!
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That mad old site-chat is still around, crazy foreigners seem to enjoy it.. It's bbcode-aware!


If you like, you can upload small files (under 10MB) right here. Files gets transferred to a top-secret area on arrival and cannot be viewed or downloaded by others, only I will see them.

This is also where I collect lame web attack scripts from wannabe "hackers" who didn't read the previous paragraph. I have literally thousands of these, especially after that business with the Moroccan press...

you can help!

Making great tools for you is a full-time job, and it doesn't pay nearly as well as you might think! If you've gotten something out of this place, and want to give back, there are loads of things you can do, like send..

Money; any decent hardware, especially HUGE SATA hard drives (particularly Seagate Barracuda "ES" drives); hardy boots, size-UK9½-10-ish; quantities of Tahini, preferably large quantities; blank Blu-Ray's or SSDs; inkjet ink (good stuff); organic beans and grains in any quantity; a copy of the best photograph you've ever taken; fiction or poetry/prose that you've written yourself (in fact anything you've created); free registration for a piece of your own software; interesting stones that you've found and enjoyed; guitar strings (acoustic bronze, fine); any musical instrument at all, especially hand-drums; large pieces of paper or card in any quantity; hemp linen, sheets or shirts in any quantity; fine spirits, especially single malt whisky; yeast extract (any brand except Vegemite); a solid piece of shiny metal with a classic or interesting shape (the heavier the better); paint of any type or colour (preferably safe stuff!); RG13 watch batteries; interesting recipes for bean-sprouts; essential oils, particularly woody low notes; a phototron unit; scalar and radionics devices of any description; lumps of orgonite; large expanses of plain fabrics, particularly hemp, any colour; original jazz recordings, especially Sun Ra; a copy of "Amusements For Invalids" or "The Book Of Leatherwork" by Mary Woodman, published by Foulsham's utility library when books cost two shillings and sixpence - I've just got to see the book that is advertised "The Book Of Leather - work: The latest fascinating and profitable pastime. How to make dainty and useful articles for yourself and your friends, or for sale to buyers of leatherwork." Wow! erm.. black ink of any type or quality; perfectly symmetrical pieces of wood (preferably hardwood); any "Meg and Mog" book; very large lumps of blu-tack; original instructions for a toy that have been translated from a far eastern language if you personally find them funny; a set of quality needle-files; absolutely anything from the Wholistic Research Company, especially a good water distiller; a large bottle of Lea & Perrins; a new laptop...

Och, there's loads more stuff I could be doing with. As a smart shareware author once wrote "send either one dollar or one million dollars, whichever you can afford".

If you want to send something physical, mail me for a postal address, let me know you're human.
Here is a PayPal button.
You can click this and make my day..
I am also keen to acquire (by barter, trade, favour, donation, or any other means) ..

  • A 35mm negative scanner capable of an actual 4000dpi scan.
  • A copy of Baba Barata's "Raja Yoga" [attributed to Yogi Ramacharaka].
If you don't have a Dropbox account, you could go get one from this link. Dropbox is great and free, and that will bag me 500MB extra storage. Thanks!
And Finally..

Making all this good stuff, I have no time for a social networking presence and as a result, Google has screwed me harder and harder over the last few years. Anything you can do to tip the balance back towards sanity is much appreciated; tweets, facebook posts, whatever it is you get up to!

Thank You!

Welcome to!

I'm always messing around with the back-end.. See a bug? Wait a minute and try again. Still see a bug? Mail Me!