fagsSo, I'm walking down Union Street, quite the thing, on my way to get some Tahini, when this guy shouts over..
"Hey! Got a spare fag?"
So I detours into the bus-stop and says..
"No, but I can give you a rollie-up", reaching into my side-pocket for my tin.
"Nah, it's okay, I prefer fags."
"Fuxxake! Git a fuckin job then, you scrounging toss-pot!"
Okay, I didn't say the last bit, but I do have the most expressive eyes, and believe me, you got the family version!
It's illegal to smoke in public Places in Scotland, now. A good thing, no doubt. But it's still legal to smoke outdoors, which seems half-arsed to me, but a step in the right direction, for sure. The smokers are feeling it, anyway. I caught our local community wardens out the backie having a sly puff yesterday; tut tut! Everyone's at it; out the back.
Ostracized, I think the word is. And not a moment too soon. Apparently calls to those dubious "quit smoking" help-lines have quadrupled in the last fortnight, the smokers of Scotland have got until the end of the Summer to get themselves together.
It gets cold here in Winter, minus-something, and it be no fun standing out the back every half hour in office clothes in minus-something, especially not while your healthy and not nearly so smelly colleagues are snug indoors in their pollution-free environment (aside from regular office pollution, that is).
Stopping smoking. It's definitely something I've thought about, but like the mind of most smokers, mine is adept at pushing the issue further and further out of the way until it is completely and utterly forgotten. This week, more than once, I've been reminded. I guess that's a good thing.
Apart from the nicotine addiction, I'm a pretty healthy guy. My diet is awesome, I exercise daily, all that, but this poison is definitely having an effect. I noticed the last time I had to run for a bus. Ouch.
I prefer rollie-ups. Four thousand-odd less toxins to worry about, but still a thousand more than my body would prefer. Actually I'd prefer to smoke grass all the time, but it's not so easy to get. Bugger. If only it were legal to grow marijuana, I say, I would give up the fags tomorrow! Today!
Perhaps our forward-thinking Scottish Parliament will have a look into that one, too. Just a few plants for personal use guys, you know.
Perhaps I'll blog another day about why that would be an excellent idea, about why alcohol is more evil, and how we could save the county Billions annually in health bills by simply making a few small changes to our current policies. I'll probably end by demostrating how GPs could be easily replaced by computers, and get the job done a helluva lot better, too.
But not now, I'm off out the back, gasping.